well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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