So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
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I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
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I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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