well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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