"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize