that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
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