I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
