think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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