Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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