I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
