I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
