dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
