I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
