HIV tests are more positive than that guy
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
