Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
