I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
