My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize