I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
