Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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