Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
