Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
