good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
