I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
