Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
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Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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