I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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