I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize