i barfeds in our rink
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
