I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
