You're so nebulous sometimes
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
