I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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