But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
