I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize