I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
