i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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