Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
