in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
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