I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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