$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
