My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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