bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
