booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize