She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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