I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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