Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
