My room smells like vodka and shame
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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