did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
