where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
