I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
