to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
