oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
