so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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