in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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