ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
