i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
