That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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