i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
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Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
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Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
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